Neverwhat?

As I mentioned before, I have been cast in a stage version of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere at Lifeline Theatre, to be produced next spring. Our illustrious director Paul Holmquist, who also directed me in Lifeline's Busman's Honeymoon, has decided to embark on a busman's holiday of his own by turning a vacation to London into a research trip. He will be documenting his travails on a new blog, Neverwhat? I, for one, am looking forward to some enlightening entries.

The Sharp End of the Sword

On Saturday I and fellow Treasure Island castmates Patrick Blashill, Rob McLean and Sean Sinitski along with fight director Geoff Coates sat down for the Talk Theatre In Chicago podcast to discuss our show and the art of staged violence. It was a huge thrill for me as I've never been interviewed before. The interview took place in Lifeline Theatre's rehearsal space, and you can hear the El going by the window every couple of minutes.

We followed this interview with our first two-show Saturday of the run. By the time I got home that evening I was so tired I couldn't even sleep. I've lost twelve pounds since we started tech. And if we can maintain audiences like these for the next few weeks we'll probably extend the run into November. By the time we close I should be lookin' GOOD.

I Don't Mean to Toot My Own Horn...

... but BEEP BEEP, people! The reviews for Treasure Island have been rolling in, and it looks like we're a hit! I've linked below to several of the reviews, and included a few choice excerpts here and there.

Chicago Sun-Times - Dig up 'Treasure' at Lifeline show - "The ensemble is terrific, with Chris Hainsworth, Christopher M. Walsh, Ezekiel Sulkes, C. Sean Piereman and Eduardo Garcia as a fine bunch of battered and battering gold-diggers."

Chicago Theater Blog - Lifeline creates an all-hands-on-deck winner - "Chief among equals: Christopher Walsh as the rum-and-rickets-infused Billy Bones, a rogue whose “thundering apoplexy” proves the catalyst for the story’s rollicking treasure hunt."

Chicago Tribune - Full-blown 'Treasure Island' sails into Lifeline: Prepare to be boarded - "Thanks to the inventions of designer Alan Donahue and a slew of deliciously droll performances from the likes of Robert McLean, Christopher M. Walsh and young Warren Weber, this is an engrossing adventure that Kauzlaric unfolds at break-neck pace."

Chicagoist - Shiver Me Timbers! Lifeline's Treasure Island Is Explosive - "This show is as close to perfection as they come, and if you have a thing for pirates, it’s just that much better."

Dining Chicago - Fabulous coming-of-age classics: ‘The Fantasticks’ and ‘Treasure Island’ - "Along with Sinitski, Christopher M. Walsh, as Billy Bones, and Patrick Blashill, as Dr. Livesey, deliver exceptional performances, and director Robert Kauzlaric’s staging is impeccable."

Gapers Block - A Pirate's Life for Me

Newcity - Review: Treasure Island/Lifeline Theatre

I am tired and bruised, but immensely proud of this show. Yar.

Dead Men Don't Bite

I am sore and exhausted and it feels fantastic. Lifeline Theatre's Treasure Island has occupied all of my free time for the last month and will continue to do so for the next couple of weeks. We have this brief respite tonight and for the next twenty-four hours. I'm not sure if we have the day off because it's Labor Day or because the designers have more work to do or just because they thought we'd need a break right about now, but whatever the reason the respite is more than welcome. This just might be the most physically challenging show I've ever worked on. Defiant's A Clockwork Orange was a beast but I was five years younger and I think that makes a huge difference. Plus, Clockwork didn't have the crazy costume changes that TI has. I'm sweaty and out of breath in the first five minutes.

The show is coming together swimmingly. We had one casualty: An actor dislocated his kneecap during a fight scene last week and now his understudy is doing yeoman's work getting up to speed. He's doing a great job, and we'll get the original actor back in a few weeks, but the whole thing has served to focus the cast as a unit. Today we finished our cue-to-cue and accomplished the first full tech run of the show. We avoided a clusterfuck because we were able to dig in as a group and look out for each other as we made our mad dashes from one entrance to another while scrambling out of one costume and into another. There was a fair amount of rough spots but nothing beyond what one should expect from a first run. It's gonna be a good show.

To add to my fun, I may have a small fight choreographer gig coming up as well, which I will discuss when I know more details. It's for a group I'm fond of, and a cool script, so I'm keeping fingers crossed. Scheduling is tricky, so it's not a done deal as yet.

As much as I'm loving keeping busy in theater, I must confess I am looking forward to my self-imposed break after Treasure Island ends. I'm not committing to any more acting jobs that start rehearsal before next January 1. If the itch is there I may try to get a show that starts around then just to keep busy until Neverwhere begins. Oh, did I mention that I got cast in a stage version of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere? Hmm. Well it's true. As you can imagine I completely jazzed about this development, but we've got a while before we start work on it. After my Treasure Island experience, however, I do feel like I may want to consider some real physical training to get ready for it. I play several parts, most of whom have some serious violence work attached to them. Should be fun, but I don't want my ass kicked again the way it is now.

We shall have to see about that, though. I want to join a gym but I'm not sure where yet, and we are having some apartment issues that may have us moving sooner than we had planned, so we shall have to see. Until then, Treasure Island is giving me about all the workout I can handle.

... And Knowing is Half the Battle

If Star Wars was my Number One obsession as a youth, then GI Joe was close enough behind that it could be considered a statistical tie. As I grew older I never forgot my fondness for the toys and comics and cartoons. The toys came first for me, but they all went together. I had the Headquarters playset, which was awesome, but my favorite toy was the Cobra Rattler. That thing was badass.

Once I reached my 20s and learned that it was possible for a nerd to find acceptance in a worldwide community, one of my favorite nerd time-killers was choosing the fantasy cast of a live-action GI Joe movie. The cast changed often depending on my mood or my latest film obsession. I'm pretty sure Brad Pitt was supposed to play a significant role. I don't remember if I ever found a suitable Scarlett, but there were several worthy candidates for the Baroness. Michelle Forbes was one of my better choices.

The point is that I was a big GI Joe junkie as a kid, and my biggest fantasy was to see a live-action GI Joe movie. Last night my wish came true. I have to say that the new film GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is probably exactly the movie the nine-year-old me wanted to see. Sadly, that doesn't do much for the current thirty-five-year-old version.

I wish I could describe anything specific about the movie and explain what I thought of it, but I cannot. I know that I had a big stupid grin the whole time, but in hindsight I cannot for the life of me figure out why. The movie is poorly written and not particularly well-made. The effects are cartoony -- not in a clever way, but in a shoddy CGI way. The acting is all over the place, with a particular thumbs-down to Channing Tatum who, as a supposed leading man, really needs to work on his whole inarticulate mumbling problem. The action has its moments but is too busy to really get a feel for what is happening.

As a fan of the toys there were a lot of moments to enjoy. In particular I loved Scarlett's crossbow, and I loved all the vehicles with hidden guns and rockets coming out of everywhere. And I loved the appearance of the USS Flagg aircraft carrier at the end. As a fan of the comic book I enjoyed the fact that they called the GI Joe base the Pit. However, also as a fan of the comics, I hated the reworking of the Storm Shadow/Snake Eyes rivalry, and I particularly hated the perfunctory reference to the Snake Eyes/Scarlett relationship only to have it completely disappear without a word so that Ripcord could have a love interest. But then, I am a purist.

I will say this: I got my money's worth in the first ten minutes. Duke and Ripcord (still regular soldiers at this point) are escorting a package in dangerous territory using standard military equipment. Out of the sky comes this crazy-ass futuristic flying craft carrying the Baroness and a bunch of Vipers. They swoop in with these awesome energy weapons and blow the shit out of everything trying to get the package, but then here comes the Joes. Fuckin' Snake Eyes drops in out of nowhere with his ninja sword, and then you see Scarlett take a Viper down with a laser-guided crossbow bolt. They save the day and the Baroness is forced to escape empty-handed. That sequence is what I'd waited to see on screen for twenty years. After that the characters actually start talking and the whole thing goes to shit.

Simply put, unless you really loved the toys and comics in the early '80s there is just no reason to see this movie. It is loud and pointless. But if you did love these things as a kid then you will probably have fun -- at least until the plot kicks in. So now you know...

Sundae Bloody Sundae

I just ate a sundae from Baskin Robbins. It was made of chocolate oreo ice cream covered in hot fudge, caramel and topped off with whipped cream and crushed oreos. It was glorious.

There are very few fast food options around my day job, and fewer still that can be considered "healthy." There is a Whole Foods store about half a mile away, but I really value my lunch hour and want as much time as possible to sit and read and not think about work. There's also a Pockets which makes all kinds of salads but the problem there is I don't like salad. I could do Jimmy Johns, which is stretching it as far as the "healthy" idea goes. And of course the ubiquitous McDonalds. My trough of choice usually ends up being the Boston Market about two blocks away. I like the food, and as long as I steer clear of the mac-n-cheese I can convince myself that what I'm eating won't increase my chances of a coronary too drastically. The downside here is that the Boston Market is located right next to a Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins combo. I have to pass it to get back to work. It calls to me. And today I succumbed to its siren song.

I walked back to work with the sundae in my hand, eating with the pink plastic long-handled spoon as I walked. Between bites I scolded myself, but the voice in my head wasn't really committed to it. It was eclipsed by the blooms of happiness and sunshine that accompanied each bite of ice cream. I told myself I'd earned it. When it was finished I felt ridiculous. I'd earned it? What exactly had I done to earn a sundae? A good report card in second grade might earn me a sundae. I'm thirty-five years old. What does a grown man do to earn a sundae?

Here's the weird thing: Eating bad food makes me feel great. During the time I am actually eating I feel good physically and I feel good about myself mentally, spiritually, whatever. I feel prepared to take on any task, overcome any challenge. Bring it on! I'll get it done -- just as soon as I'm done eating. Once I am done eating, however, the real physical effects of all that sugar, or grease, or whatever, actually kicks in and I feel like shit. And I tell myself that next time I will have more self-control. I tell myself next time I'll get a salad, or just some chicken and mixed veggies. While I'm at it, I'll start doing push-ups and crunches in the morning, ride my bike more, start running. I should look into a yoga class. Don't I know a trainer? When does that gym open? And so on...

... until the next morning when I realize that I'd have to get up a whole hour earlier to go for a run or a bike ride, and push-ups when you're carrying an extra eighty or ninety pounds of flab are almost a non-starter. Weights are heavy and make me sore. Cardio makes me sweaty and tired. And none of it works fast enough to make me feel like any of it is worth the effort. But you know what will make me feel better right now? Donuts. And one or two of those croissant sandwiches with ham, eggs and cheese. Lots of cheese. And that ineffectual voice in the back of my head will keep his fingers crossed that this candy bar isn't the one that pushes me into the realm of borderline diabetes, and this hot dog isn't the one that sends my cholesterol over the edge of a heart attack.

But you see, I only drink diet soda, so that makes it all okay.

Home Again

Vacation is over. We flew back to Chicago yesterday. I find myself viewing my hometown with new eyes.

I loved Seattle. It's just a beautiful town. The atmosphere was night and day compared to Chicago. This was most apparent as we were on our way to the airport yesterday morning. We were in a cab, and an SUV pulled up alongside of us. The window came down and a voice asked our driver, very politely, if they could merge in front of us. Our driver waved them over, and all was well. We took a second cab home after landing at O'Hare. As we approached our exit our driver flicked on his turn signal and began to switch lanes. Another car sped forward and cut us off. That car's driver then stuck his head out of his window and yelled, "A turn signal doesn't mean you can just merge, motherfucker!" As we got closer to home I looked at people out on the streets and they all just looked pissed off. Everybody hates each other here. How did I not notice that before?

Seattle doesn't have the same kind of theater scene as Chicago. If it did, I would be making plans to get back there right now. As it is, such a move is just plain unrealistic. But, I plan on getting back there as soon as possible, even if it's just for a weekend.