I don't have bad auditions.
Wait, that came out wrong.
I mean to say that I am usually pretty confident at auditions. I get nervous sometimes, sure, but never so much that it distracts from my performance. I'm a good cold reader, and I've got a handful of monologues that I know really well, that I've really done my homework on, and that I can whip out at a moment's notice whenever the occasion calls for it.
Which is why I'm really not sure what went wrong yesterday.
It was a general audition for a casting agent. That means that I wasn't up for any particular role, but rather was trying to make a good impression in the hopes of being considered for future roles. No one likes having to do general auditions. They are a necessary evil - and the "necessary" part may be up for debate. But I guess every so often casting directors and agents want to see some new faces, and so they hold generals. And we actors show up because we need to be seen if we ever want to actually get hired. As audition situations go, the general audition is pretty low-pressure. The important thing is to avoid looking like a complete idiot. If you can get a chuckle from the agent during your comedic monologue, you've probably done as well as can possibly be expected. They have to sit through a hundred or more of them, so it will take a lot to get a reaction.
The point is, I don't expect a lot in the way of feedback from these types of auditions. You go in, you get about three minutes to get through your monologues, you say thank you, you leave. You try not to look at the people watching you, because most likely they won't be watching you. They will be taking notes or something. But I expect this, and I'm a personable guy, so I'm polite and do my stuff and I don't stress to much about it.
Which brings me to yesterday. Like I said, I can't tell you what went wrong yesterday. It was my first time auditioning for this particular agent, so I was a little nervous going in. Everything was fine until it came time to start my first monologue, and I found myself suddenly all self-conscious. I mumbled the title and playwright for the first monologue, and then could not focus for the rest of my time. I botched the first couple of lines of my first piece, not so badly that I had to start over, but enough that for the rest of both monologues all I could think was, what am I doing? My second monologue is supposed to be the "funny" one, and it totally fell flat. I was unsure of what I was saying or why I was saying it. I was acutely aware of the agent's blank stare, and the agent's assistant's pen as she scribbled notes. I think I actually directed part of the second monologue at her notepad.
I was so rattled by how the whole thing went that at rehearsal that night I fumbled my way through an entire act before I could get through a scene without completely demolishing at least one line of dialogue.
Long ago I gave up trying to assess just how well I did or did not do at an audition. I've landed roles after auditions I was certain I had botched, and didn't even get a callback from auditions I knew I had nailed. So I am not going to pretend to have any idea what this agent thought of me. But it is going to take me a while to shake this one off.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Monday, January 02, 2012
I Am Thus Resolved
Happy New Year! As per usual, resolutions abound.
This year, I resolve to lose fifty pounds. This is different from my usual resolution to "lose weight," which technically I have succeeded in doing every year that I made the resolution. However, I've never set a specific goal before, nor did I specify that I need to actually keep it off. My resolution is to be fifty pounds lighter on December 31, 2012, than I was on January 1st. That's less than a pound per week. Totally manageable.
This year, I resolve to get my drivers' license. I resolve to take care of this every year. It's a scheduling problem: I don't have regular access to a car, but I will need to take a road test to get the license. And of course you can't just show up and say, "Hey! I'm ready to take my test now!" Figuring out exactly when to show up for these things is an exact science, and one that I have not mastered yet. So, I cannot promise that this resolution won't come to the same result this year that it has every year previously, but I will see what I can do.
This year, I resolve to get cast in at least one film. It doesn't matter what kind. It doesn't matter if I get paid. I have an agent now, so the odds of me getting paid for film work has increased, but it's not a deal breaker. In order to get paying film work, I need to put together a film reel. In order to get enough footage for a reel, I need to get some time in front of a camera. That means doing student films, shorts, whatever. Fine with me.
This year, I resolve to write an original play. If I write an adaptation as well, that's awesome. But I want to write something new, on my own, and I want to submit it in hopes of having it produced.
This year, I resolve to learn how to play the piano. I got a midi keyboard for Christmas, and GarageBand has tutorials to help learn. I've already started. I need to find time to practice, but I'm excited about it. There is a possibility that I will be writing a musical for my theatre company in the next year or two. While I'm told that my job would involve the parts that aren't music, I'd still like to be able to participate in the conversation. Plus, it's just something I've always wanted to do, and now I can.
This year, I resolve to talk to my family more often. I've really let that slide. Events of the last couple months have driven home how important it is to keep in touch with loved ones.
Right. No problem. Time to get to work.
This year, I resolve to lose fifty pounds. This is different from my usual resolution to "lose weight," which technically I have succeeded in doing every year that I made the resolution. However, I've never set a specific goal before, nor did I specify that I need to actually keep it off. My resolution is to be fifty pounds lighter on December 31, 2012, than I was on January 1st. That's less than a pound per week. Totally manageable.
This year, I resolve to get my drivers' license. I resolve to take care of this every year. It's a scheduling problem: I don't have regular access to a car, but I will need to take a road test to get the license. And of course you can't just show up and say, "Hey! I'm ready to take my test now!" Figuring out exactly when to show up for these things is an exact science, and one that I have not mastered yet. So, I cannot promise that this resolution won't come to the same result this year that it has every year previously, but I will see what I can do.
This year, I resolve to get cast in at least one film. It doesn't matter what kind. It doesn't matter if I get paid. I have an agent now, so the odds of me getting paid for film work has increased, but it's not a deal breaker. In order to get paying film work, I need to put together a film reel. In order to get enough footage for a reel, I need to get some time in front of a camera. That means doing student films, shorts, whatever. Fine with me.
This year, I resolve to write an original play. If I write an adaptation as well, that's awesome. But I want to write something new, on my own, and I want to submit it in hopes of having it produced.
This year, I resolve to learn how to play the piano. I got a midi keyboard for Christmas, and GarageBand has tutorials to help learn. I've already started. I need to find time to practice, but I'm excited about it. There is a possibility that I will be writing a musical for my theatre company in the next year or two. While I'm told that my job would involve the parts that aren't music, I'd still like to be able to participate in the conversation. Plus, it's just something I've always wanted to do, and now I can.
This year, I resolve to talk to my family more often. I've really let that slide. Events of the last couple months have driven home how important it is to keep in touch with loved ones.
Right. No problem. Time to get to work.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Philosopher Humorist
My stepdad worked as a scenic carpenter at Indiana Repertory Theatre for the last several years of his life. They are planning to run this note in their program:
"The IRT family lost one of its beloved members just
before Thanksgiving: Michael Schiesser
was a member of our scene shop staff for 6 years, but his impact in the theatre
ranged far beyond these duties. Michael
was truly a philosopher humorist, whose great love of teaching—whether it was
the execution of a rigging knot, or the solution to a crossword puzzle—was
always generously, if wryly, offered. We
depended on Michael for a ready smile, a curiosity about others’ lives and work
conditions, for his off-the-wall and wide-ranging views on the world, and for
his ingenious scene shop pranks. No one
could hold a candle to him in the pranks division: Michael could literally nail your tools to
the table, hide your favorite screwdriver, or reverse the belt clip on your
tape measure without detection!
Michael’s satiric reflections keep many of us afloat during hard
times. He will be deeply missed,
joyfully remembered, and honored by his friends at the IRT."
Just wanted to share.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
In the Face
A couple of weeks ago I had my first performance with A Crew of Patches, a company that performs Shakespeare for high school students. I'd auditioned for them once years ago, and I like to tell myself I didn't get the gig because I had scheduling issues. Doesn't matter, because I finally got in the old fashioned way: I made friends with the people in the company.
If you have never dragged yourself out of bed at the ass-crack of dawn to perform Shakespeare for two hundred less-than-interested teenagers, then believe me, you have not lived. I am having the time of my life with this group. I have great roles to play, and every show is a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants operation. We swoop into a new school each day, throw on some costumes, and off we go. No sets. Few sounds. Maybe a light cue or two. No intermission. Barely any rehearsal, even. Every show but one so far has been Macbeth. I play Banquo. Last Friday we did Romeo and Juliet for the first time. We'd never run the entire show before. Most scenes had only been rehearsed once or twice. I have a small part in that one and was properly stressed out by it; I can't imagine what Romeo and Juliet were feeling.
It was exhilarating.
We are on break right now - schools are wrapping things up for the winter break, so there's not much call for our services right now. In January we finally rehearse Julius Caesar, in which I will play the title role. If you aren't familiar with the play, I won't fault you for being impressed. It's a great role, but it's also kinda like Janet Leigh in Psycho: If there was an intermission, my guy wouldn't last long enough to see it. Nonetheless, I've got a few more lines to learn.
If you have never dragged yourself out of bed at the ass-crack of dawn to perform Shakespeare for two hundred less-than-interested teenagers, then believe me, you have not lived. I am having the time of my life with this group. I have great roles to play, and every show is a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants operation. We swoop into a new school each day, throw on some costumes, and off we go. No sets. Few sounds. Maybe a light cue or two. No intermission. Barely any rehearsal, even. Every show but one so far has been Macbeth. I play Banquo. Last Friday we did Romeo and Juliet for the first time. We'd never run the entire show before. Most scenes had only been rehearsed once or twice. I have a small part in that one and was properly stressed out by it; I can't imagine what Romeo and Juliet were feeling.
It was exhilarating.
We are on break right now - schools are wrapping things up for the winter break, so there's not much call for our services right now. In January we finally rehearse Julius Caesar, in which I will play the title role. If you aren't familiar with the play, I won't fault you for being impressed. It's a great role, but it's also kinda like Janet Leigh in Psycho: If there was an intermission, my guy wouldn't last long enough to see it. Nonetheless, I've got a few more lines to learn.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Michael
My previous blog entry was a crass attempt to avoid what has been occupying my thoughts for the past week and a half.
On the morning of Tuesday, November 15th, my stepfather took a handgun into his backyard and killed himself with it. Now, ten days later, I still have not processed this information completely.
At about 11:30 that day I received two phone calls on my cell phone. One was from a number I did not know, but I recognized the area code as being from Indianapolis, where my mom and stepdad live. The second was from my mom. I was at work and did not answer in time. She didn't leave a message, so I called back. She was able to say, "Something terrible has happened," but was too hysterical to get out more, so she handed the phone off to a woman who identified herself as police officer. May I just pay my compliments to the Indianapolis Police Department's sensitivity training: Never has a bandage been so gently ripped off. She told me what happened, and asked how quickly I could get there. I explained that I was in Chicago and it would be several hours. She gave the phone back to my mom, and I told her I was on my way. I don't know if she heard me. She asked me to call my brothers and sisters and I said of course. I called my wife and went home, then spent about fifteen minutes building up the courage to do the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my life: I called my stepbrother to tell him his father had died.
My wife came home and went into stage-manager mode. She arranged for the car rental and hotel, and off we went. (Side note: Through an odd quirk we ended up with a BMW for the week. It had built in GPS, which proved to be invaluable as we coordinated various airport and hotel pickups and dropoffs for our family. We named the GPS "Lucy.")
The rest of the week is something of a blur. My family has always dealt with difficulty through humor, so there was a lot of laughing. That helped. I met my newest nephew, 3-month-old William. I met my sister-in-law for the first time, which was awesome. She has her hands full with my stepbrother, who understandably is taking it hard. I think if anyone is up to the task, though, it is this fantastic addition to the family.
I also met another family member, and this just adds to dream-like quality of the past week. My mother revealed to me many years ago that when she was in high school she gave birth to a baby girl, whom she gave up for adoption. About a year and a half ago, they met for the first time. This woman, my older half-sister, came in for the funeral. There are many things about the past ten days about which I have yet to sort out my feelings. This is perhaps the strangest.
I have never been in a position to make funeral arrangements before. Our needs were basic. There would be - could be - no viewing. There would be no religious ceremony. He would be cremated. The ashes will added to his garden, so there was no need for an expensive urn. There was just a two-hour visitation, and I was happy to see how many people came. The funeral director was fantastic, and took care of everything. Even getting the obituary in the paper. All part of the package.
Considering how minimal our requirements were, I am astounded by how much it cost. If Mandy or I were to die suddenly, the surviving partner would be completely screwed.
My mom is handling things as well as can be expected - better, actually. Right now she is in Seattle, spending Thanksgiving with one of my sisters. She'll be in Phoenix with another sister for Christmas. She has already started talking about changes she wants to make to the house. My siblings an I are planning a reunion trip to Indianapolis next summer, to help fix up the place.
I don't really have much else to say about it right now. I have no appropriate eulogy for my stepfather. I knew him for almost a quarter of a century, but apparently I didn't know him that well.
On the morning of Tuesday, November 15th, my stepfather took a handgun into his backyard and killed himself with it. Now, ten days later, I still have not processed this information completely.
At about 11:30 that day I received two phone calls on my cell phone. One was from a number I did not know, but I recognized the area code as being from Indianapolis, where my mom and stepdad live. The second was from my mom. I was at work and did not answer in time. She didn't leave a message, so I called back. She was able to say, "Something terrible has happened," but was too hysterical to get out more, so she handed the phone off to a woman who identified herself as police officer. May I just pay my compliments to the Indianapolis Police Department's sensitivity training: Never has a bandage been so gently ripped off. She told me what happened, and asked how quickly I could get there. I explained that I was in Chicago and it would be several hours. She gave the phone back to my mom, and I told her I was on my way. I don't know if she heard me. She asked me to call my brothers and sisters and I said of course. I called my wife and went home, then spent about fifteen minutes building up the courage to do the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my life: I called my stepbrother to tell him his father had died.
My wife came home and went into stage-manager mode. She arranged for the car rental and hotel, and off we went. (Side note: Through an odd quirk we ended up with a BMW for the week. It had built in GPS, which proved to be invaluable as we coordinated various airport and hotel pickups and dropoffs for our family. We named the GPS "Lucy.")
The rest of the week is something of a blur. My family has always dealt with difficulty through humor, so there was a lot of laughing. That helped. I met my newest nephew, 3-month-old William. I met my sister-in-law for the first time, which was awesome. She has her hands full with my stepbrother, who understandably is taking it hard. I think if anyone is up to the task, though, it is this fantastic addition to the family.
I also met another family member, and this just adds to dream-like quality of the past week. My mother revealed to me many years ago that when she was in high school she gave birth to a baby girl, whom she gave up for adoption. About a year and a half ago, they met for the first time. This woman, my older half-sister, came in for the funeral. There are many things about the past ten days about which I have yet to sort out my feelings. This is perhaps the strangest.
I have never been in a position to make funeral arrangements before. Our needs were basic. There would be - could be - no viewing. There would be no religious ceremony. He would be cremated. The ashes will added to his garden, so there was no need for an expensive urn. There was just a two-hour visitation, and I was happy to see how many people came. The funeral director was fantastic, and took care of everything. Even getting the obituary in the paper. All part of the package.
Considering how minimal our requirements were, I am astounded by how much it cost. If Mandy or I were to die suddenly, the surviving partner would be completely screwed.
My mom is handling things as well as can be expected - better, actually. Right now she is in Seattle, spending Thanksgiving with one of my sisters. She'll be in Phoenix with another sister for Christmas. She has already started talking about changes she wants to make to the house. My siblings an I are planning a reunion trip to Indianapolis next summer, to help fix up the place.
I don't really have much else to say about it right now. I have no appropriate eulogy for my stepfather. I knew him for almost a quarter of a century, but apparently I didn't know him that well.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Party Pooper
I have a confession to make: I hate the holidays.
I like to convince myself that I object to the holidays as a matter of principle. Thanksgiving may have become a time for family, and for reflecting on the good things in your life, and whatever. But really it's a celebration of the time when a bunch of weirdos who couldn't hack it in their home country packed up and took a boat to the New World, where the natives threw them a pity party. Which was later repaid with smallpox. And Christmas? Please. The commercial co-opting of a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of the world's most famous fictional character. A holiday which is itself a co-opted Roman holiday, which has its roots in even early Pagan traditions.
I can be kind of a dick when I want to. Because the truth is that this time of year just stresses me right out. It's expensive. I have family members from every corner of the country wanting to know why I'm not spending it with them. I put on a ton of weight every year at this time. And it's expensive. Did I mention that already?
I need to quit being a whiner and just try to enjoy myself.
But it's also cold out there.
I like to convince myself that I object to the holidays as a matter of principle. Thanksgiving may have become a time for family, and for reflecting on the good things in your life, and whatever. But really it's a celebration of the time when a bunch of weirdos who couldn't hack it in their home country packed up and took a boat to the New World, where the natives threw them a pity party. Which was later repaid with smallpox. And Christmas? Please. The commercial co-opting of a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of the world's most famous fictional character. A holiday which is itself a co-opted Roman holiday, which has its roots in even early Pagan traditions.
I can be kind of a dick when I want to. Because the truth is that this time of year just stresses me right out. It's expensive. I have family members from every corner of the country wanting to know why I'm not spending it with them. I put on a ton of weight every year at this time. And it's expensive. Did I mention that already?
I need to quit being a whiner and just try to enjoy myself.
But it's also cold out there.
Thursday, November 03, 2011
New Skills - Part II
And here it is: My brand-new, freshly squeezed website. I find that I cannot stop tinkering with it.
The HTML/CSS class was interesting and informative, and if this online thing ever offers a more advanced one I shall definitely check it out. I'm now deep into their introductory Javascript course, which is about a hundred times more complicated. It involves the use of words that are not currently part of my vocabulary. Words like, "concatenation." It requires the understanding of "variables" and "functions," both of which sound suspiciously math-like to my artist's brain. Fortunately, these are video lectures, so when anything doesn't sink in the first time I can just watch it again. Once I've got the hang of it I'm moving on to PHP/MySQL. I think it will help me at my current day job. Or perhaps it will help at some future day job. We shall see.
In other news, The Count of Monte Cristo has been extended for two weeks, so it now closes November 13th - just in time for me to begin work on Hunger, also for Lifeline Theatre. We're doing a special workshop/staged reading downtown this month, which will be a change from Lifeline's usual process. I'm curious to see what we'll be able to take from this once we enter the regular rehearsal process after Thanksgiving.
The HTML/CSS class was interesting and informative, and if this online thing ever offers a more advanced one I shall definitely check it out. I'm now deep into their introductory Javascript course, which is about a hundred times more complicated. It involves the use of words that are not currently part of my vocabulary. Words like, "concatenation." It requires the understanding of "variables" and "functions," both of which sound suspiciously math-like to my artist's brain. Fortunately, these are video lectures, so when anything doesn't sink in the first time I can just watch it again. Once I've got the hang of it I'm moving on to PHP/MySQL. I think it will help me at my current day job. Or perhaps it will help at some future day job. We shall see.
In other news, The Count of Monte Cristo has been extended for two weeks, so it now closes November 13th - just in time for me to begin work on Hunger, also for Lifeline Theatre. We're doing a special workshop/staged reading downtown this month, which will be a change from Lifeline's usual process. I'm curious to see what we'll be able to take from this once we enter the regular rehearsal process after Thanksgiving.
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